To My Daughter On Her 1st Birthday

My beautiful, silly, funny little girl:

First of all: Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! You've learned so much since your first day in the big, scary world, and you've tackled it all with gusto and eagerness, and I love your adventurous spirit so very much (even though sometimes it tries my patience!)

Secondly, let me tell you how proud I am of you. I am SO proud, I beam with pride when I wear you around the city and you make people stop and smile and gush over you. Sometimes, you are very serious, and then out of nowhere you make someone's day by smiling your huge, adorable smile at them. You smile with your whole face and I just love that about you. You hold nothing back, and I hope you never change that. 

You are also exceedingly bright. You delight at learning new things and I love watching you figure out a new toy or puzzle, brow furrowed in deep concentration. You can be hard to keep entertained, yes... but it's so much fun trying to challenge you and watching you succeed.

Having you has changed me a lot. I have grown as a person a great deal, but I've also learned that my capacity to love someone was much greater than I ever thought possible. The things I would do for you and your protection and happiness are unimaginable. I had no idea I had that kind of strength in me. You have also taught me not to take things so seriously or personally. You've taught me not to sweat the small stuff.

You have also changed Daddy. Daddy is wonderful, as I know you already know, judging by the way you beam at him whenever he enters the room. But you helped him grow, too. He's learned how to care for another person and how to care for himself more as well. You have brought out the goofy side in him, and we both laugh as he bends over backwards trying to entertain you. He wants to be a good father for you, and because of you, I think he will be. 

Let's talk about milestones and your progress in sleeping, eating, and growing. You rolled over for the first time at 5 months exactly. You also crawled for the first time at 8 months exactly. You're very precise! You've been eating solid food since you were about 5 months old, and you have started eating more solid than puréed foods now. You are not a great eater! You tend to chew things a little and then deposit them into your cheeks. In time, as with everything else, you'll eventually get the hang of it. I've learned not to underestimate you.

Your sleeping has been up and down. We started sleep training around 3.5 months out of necessity - you fought sleep every night! At that time you would drift off on my arms after having your bottle but as soon as I very gently laid you down in your crib - POP! - eyes flew open and you were wide awake! You did very well during sleep training, which is good because I don't think I could have handled letting you cry. Sometimes, maybe once a month, rather than just rolling over and going to sleep, you babble a bit before you drift off. Sometimes, you get very mad at Mommy and I can hear you yelling at me! This doesn't last more than 5 minutes usually, and then you're out for the night. You don't know this, but every night once you've been quiet for a few minutes, Mommy always checks on you, very quietly and carefully. I have to do this to make sure you're sleeping peacefully, otherwise I don't sleep peacefully. You usually sleep through the night and I believe we are very lucky to have such a good sleeper. Sometimes, I wish I could hold you in my arms all night. But I've had to learn to let you grow independently, too. 

You were everything I wanted in a child. You are smart, curious, funny, and you are already kind. You rarely have tantrums, and you let us snuggle you way more than you probably want to be snuggled. I am so excited to go through life with you, hearing your first words, helping you take your first steps, cheering you on in sports or dance or music or art or whatever you feel passion for, and watching you grow, make mistakes, learn from them, then make more. Mistakes help us grow, and you should be free to make a few - to make several. I promise I will keep you safe from really big, scary mistakes though. I promise that you will always have a home with me. I promise that what is mine is yours. I promise to always be there, if someone makes you cry, if someone breaks you, I will be there. I will scoop you up, just like I do now when you have fallen down. I will kiss your face, wipe the tears away and make you laugh. 

I love you very much, my little monkey. You light up my life. 

Babies grow and grow and GROW.

My sweet little Morgan is already 7.5 months old!!!

How did that happen??

It happened in the blink of an eye. She went from coming into the world to putting on several pounds and inches, and we also discovered that she had a bit of an acid reflux issue. We had her on Ranitidine which is basically Zantac, but in syrup form and a super low dosage.

That was, lemme see... around this time:

And after we had her dosage right, the little Punk was right as rain. Completely different child! If I ever have a friend who has a baby with the same symptoms I will let her know. Changed our whole world.

So, time went on. My not so little one kept getting bigger and bigger. She ended up outgrowing her 3 month old clothing so fast that I think there were even some outfits or sleepers that she never wore.

Then I found that even her 6 month old clothing was too big. She's long, especially in her torso. Just like Daddy.

I took her to a new doctor who had some startling news for me, news that I did not take well. Don't worry, she wasn't sick. She never gets sick.

Our previous doctor, as well as the nurses who administered her vaccinations, all pegged her at the 95th percentile at each appointment. They also all said she was a healthy girl. This meant that she was big, very big, but developing normally and growing at a good rate, but meant that she was bigger than most babies her age.

The new doctor - a young man, who didn't appear to be overly interested in her health or her typical growth - found her to be in the 97th percentile now. And that, he said, was unhealthy. That made this Momma freak out. My baby, obese? Too heavy? Was this going to slow her progress? Was this going to stop her from maturing at the rate she was, and worst of all, was it MY fault?

... MY FAULT??

Of course, it wasn't that big of a deal. I have observed her. She rolls easily. She gets up on her hands and knees. She is currently 7.5 months and developing very normally. Why did I worry? She is a normal, healthy baby. See?

She has perfect chubby arms and legs and perfect chubster cheeks. She's happy and healthy and capable. She's strong. WOW is she strong. I had nothing to worry about.

I did still reduce her formula intake as he instructed me to, but honestly if I go back to the doctor and he says she's still too big, I know I did what was asked and it's not my fault. She's just a big baby.

And what else? She loves buttons. Anything she can push. She loves the puppy. She loves those little Gerber puff things and I find them everywhere. She doesn't care for pasta. She loves yogurt. She wants to pet the cats - desperately. She loves drawstrings, the ones on hoodies. She loves to be held and snuggled. She hates naps but never fusses at bedtime (what?)

She is not a good eater, go figure.

She loves her Nana and Grandpa. She loves loves LOVES fish. And water. And kicking her feet.

She loves tickles. She loves when Mommy kisses her cheeks or her neck or her tummy. She loves Daddy - LOVES Daddy. He is fascinating. He makes faces and she laughs uncontrollably. He sings silly songs and she is enthralled.

She doesn't like bibs and rips them off at every opportunity. She likes to sing to herself. She LOVES music.

Music makes her stop whatever she is doing, and puts her into a trance. She loves the melody most of all. A particular favourite of hers appears to be Debussy.

She uses her index finger to examine everything. With purpose and intense concentration.

She smiles - BEAMS - at complete strangers. Even if she's just been crying. ESPECIALLY if she's just been crying. She's a big faker. She's very convincing.

She's exceptional at restaurants. Give her a french fry to smoosh between her fingers and she'll entertain herself for quite some time.

She smiles with her whole face. Like this:

And even on our crappiest days, that smile makes it all worth while. That smile sends me to the moon. And I never ever thought I'd get there.