Pregnant Rambles: 1st Edition - The Birth "Plan"

I've decided to include some pregnancy rambles as I write this blog because I think sometimes, it's just best to let it all out.

My ramble today is about childbirth - shocker. First, natural childbirth: I've been reading a lot of birth stories online and it seems like natural childbirths almost always go wrong - what's up with that? Baby decides to turn into a really awkward position or the poor mom's water has to be broken because she's been labouring for so long, etc. I'm definitely not going the natural childbirth route, however I am extremely impressed with women who do this. I, on the other hand, am a major wuss. What amazes me is that you amazing women are sacrificing so much to experience everything birth provides and to bring your babies into the world with clear heads, and it seems like the Universe takes pleasure in making things even more difficult for you! I just want my baby, healthy. I'm trying not to worry about the rest - hats off to you amazing, strong women who go natural.

Important to note: I have to prepare myself for the possibility that I won't get an epidural in time and will be forced into natural childbirth, and that's a scary thought! I know I could do it but I really, really don't want to. Really.

There are some things I would like for my own labour, especially after reading so many stories. One, I think I will definitely appreciate Popsicles in the house during early labour. It will be September, which is not super hot but I know I'll be roasting so a Popsicle will be refreshing. Two, a birthing ball to help open my usually tense hips. Three, Netflix marathons. I'm sure I'll be adding to this list.

I know there are some things I would like to bring to the hospital as well -  might leave that for another edition of Pregnant Rambles.

I'm pretty terrified of birth to be honest. I know it's going to be hard work. I know that no matter how many birth stories I read to prepare myself, no two births are exactly the same. I know it's going to be ugly at times, and I know that when push comes to shove (har har) I won't care very much. My concern is not necessarily birth, but complications in birth. What if my baby lodges him or herself in a bad position? What if they have to use forceps (which I'm pretty sure I'll be foursquare against, after reading some horrible stories about forceps) or a vacuum? What if I end up having an emergency C-section? What if I tear (likely) and I feel the agony that is involved with a tear (maybe likely)? And the biggest: What if something is wrong with my baby?

I think these questions and fears are pretty common. Sometimes, I feel so lucky just to be pregnant and to have a healthy, risk free pregnancy so far. I feel like the rug should and likely will be pulled out from under me. But thinking this way does nothing for me or my baby, does it? And after all, I'm not asking for a lot - I just want a healthy, normal birth and baby. Why shouldn't I expect that?