36 Weeks - Guess Who is Full Term NEXT WEEK?

This Gal. I can't tell you how excited that makes me. I can actually say to people when they ask me when I'm having the baby, "any day now!" and it's probably true!

I know, it's a little premature (haha) to be thinking of that at this point as I currently have 28 days left until my actual due date, and as people are so fond of telling me, it's normal for first time moms to deliver late. Blah. I'm just going to pretend that I don't know that. I think telling yourself little white lies at times like these helps to make the days go by a little faster.

Especially considering how unbelievably uncomfortable I already am. And I know there's more to come because this baby is just going to get bigger. I just cannot imagine. So I won't.

Had a lovely lunch yesterday with two awesome friends and one of their babies. Seeing that little girl really made me want my own little girl OUT! Carrying her has been an enriching experience, and not always a pleasant one, but I'm definitely ready to get the show on the road! I know motherhood is tough but I also know it's worth it. And it's something I feel like I'm never going to experience because it feels like I've been pregnant for EVER!

I also snagged some awesome baby gear from my friend, which I'm very grateful for. Jared and I are not made of money so we are happily taking hand-me-downs!

I'm getting more and more curious and fearful about labour. When I ask most people about it, they say it usually starts with bad period like cramps. I know what those can be like, so okay, got it. But what about when they increase in intensity? I've heard that they feel like:

- the biggest bowel movement ever
- intense "tightenings"
- the worst pain ever
- something is ripping you open from the inside out

and my personal favourite so far:

- a pain you could never possibly imagine

Goody! What am I supposed to do with that information? How do I know if I will be able to cope with it or not? And the funny thing is, I'm planning on getting the epidural, so I'm really just talking about the not-so-bad contractions before I get to about 4 centimeters or something. God FORBID I don't get the epidural. That will send me right over the edge!

I know my body will do what it is supposed to do, but it's getting increasingly terrifying.

One thing I'm a little sad about this week: I won't be able to see my friends for our annual labour day camping trip. Usually I go for at least a night, and it's pretty fun, often very chilly at night but nothing too crazy. I'm in my 9th month now and can't realistically go out to an area with no cell reception and no hospital for miles around. Even for a few hours. I don't even know if I can go next year, either, at least not with Baby. It does get very chilly at night and she'd be so small and vulnerable. I am definitely looking forward to camping trips as a family though. I've always loved camping and can't wait to watch her experience camping the way I did!

How far along?: 36 weeks

Baby is the size of a(n): Honeydew Melon (feels more like a watermelon, surrounded by other watermelons. Very big.)

Total weight gain/loss:  30 lbs (starting to feel a little sad looking at the scales I'll be honest)

The Bump: Growing - a lot. I actually feel like I may explode. One slight bump in the wrong direction and I'll pop like a water balloon. It's very sensitive, hard and hurts when touched.

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: Back at work, but honestly I feel too worn out to be here. This constant rib/back pain I've been feeling is getting very old, very fast, and sitting in an office chair makes it worse. Emotionally, I'm ready for this baby to arrive. I'm excited to meet her and believe it or not I'm a little (TINY BIT) sad that the pregnancy is almost over. I know I'm miserable right now, but I also know how special it is to be pregnant. 

Food Cravings/Aversions: I've been staving off my juice cravings since, what, the beginning of my 2nd trimester? Beyond that, just sweet stuff, like cookies. I also can't be bothered to cook, which makes it a little harder to eat healthy. Aversions - salads have turned me right off for months. I don't even buy lettuce anymore. I'm happy to heat up some frozen veggies but that's the extent of that. I'm pretty good with fruit though.

Sleep: Better. I think baby is going through some growth spurts, because sometimes I sleep quite comfortably, and other times my belly aches (feels like pulled muscles) every time I move. 

Weddings Rings On or Off: Off. I hate not wearing them. Not that being pregnant necessarily invites men to pursue me. The swelling isn't too bad though and doesn't hurt.

Exercise: Walking, but very slowly. I can barely move my body these days. I have 4 weeks to go too!

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Picking up again. She's running out of space so I feel a lot of frustrated nudges from her. As uncomfortable as I am I still feel badly for her. At least I have room to stretch out in my environment!

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) 

Labor Signs: Contractions. Nothing regular. They do hurt though. I am very concerned about labor, and how I'll react to the pain. I'm hoping I can keep my head, at least.

What I miss: Comfort in general is something that is getting farther out of reach as the weeks creep on. I just miss not being pregnant and will be happy to have her out!

Best Moment of the Week: Seeing a couple of friends - seriously, I don't go out much. Also, I got a parking spot at work so I don't have to walk 15 minutes to and from my car everyday. That doesn't seem like much but as I mentioned, I'm moving awfully slowly and it's painful!

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Reaching that full term date. 37 weeks is considered full term and I'm going to be SO excited to be expecting a baby within weeks! Also, my shower is next weekend, and that's going to be fun, and the LAST time I get to see a lot of people before baby! Plus it will give me a good idea of what else we need to get for her. Last minute item shopping for a very exciting event!

Quick Bumpdate: 35 Weeks & 2 Days

I didn't have time to get the hubby to take a quick pic and truthfully, he's not a very good photographer :P So here is a bumpdate!

35 Weeks - Preparing for Birth and Fun with Car Seats!

I've discovered an awesome show on British TV - One Born Every Minute on Channel 4 (GOD I miss Channel 4.) It's amazing! I've been trying to expose myself (perhaps desensitize myself?) to the many different labours that women go through, and this show really helps me do that. It seems like some women absolutely lose control with the pain while others breathe through it fairly easily. Well, maybe easily is the wrong word. But they keep their head's about them while others just flail in agony.

Now, if you've read this blog you know that I'm pretty much up for whatever pain relief available as soon as possible and, while I know I can't completely avoid pain, I'd like to avoid feeling that really intense pain that women who give birth naturally feel. It seems like the epidural is really the best solution for me because I would probably be one of those women that loses control without some relief. I just find it so interesting that the difference in pain thresholds is so incredibly vast. This terrifies me. I understand why some women want a natural birth with no interventions - they want to remember it, they want their experience to be beautiful and meaningful, and have a clear head afterwards. For me though, I don't really care about a memorable birth. For me it's not about the birth, it's about the baby. That's the part I care about and that's the ONLY part I care about. I don't want my husband traumatized by seeing me in immense pain. I don't want a "beautiful experience." I don't want to remember it. I don't want to feel what transition feels like or even to feel contractions so that I know when to push. I don't deal with pain well at all, and would lose control, forget to breathe, and be basically inconsolable. And probably will mentally block most of it anyway.

All I want is to head over to the hospital when my contractions are about 5-10 minutes apart, get the epidural, sleep and be prepared to hold my baby for the first time. The rest doesn't make a difference to me. I only hope I get that birth - the birth with the least amount of pain and the least amount of stress to me and baby.

I feel that I'm prepared though, if I for some reason can't get the epidural or it doesn't work. It will be awful, but it's only a moment in time in the long run, and I know I could do it if I had to - and obviously, I would have to in that situation. I think that's part of what watching this show (and others) is all about - I'm preparing myself for whatever birth should happen to come my way. As we know, babies come when they want to, and sometimes that's super fast, other times it's super slow. And clearly, sometimes the level of pain is unpredictable. 

Onto a less painful topic. Sort of! Finally got the car seat installed. I was annoyed at the car seat manual for mucking me up - it told me to check my car manual to see if my vehicle has UAS child restraints. I should never have done this as it only confused me. I looked in my manual and found two different types of restraints but nothing that considered itself to be a UAS restraint. Ugh. I ruled out the first one immediately as it looks as though it is for a front facing car seat. So okay. But the second one said something about an ISOFIX or something, which oddly I did find in the car seat manual as well but had NO idea how to use it. At this point, I was so stressed, because you have to use the UAS system if your vehicle has it, and as most vehicles after year 2003 or something have it, I figured mine MUST have it. But I couldn't find it and no where did either manual explain how to find it.

After much frustration for both Jared and I, we called it, which was fine as it had started to pour on us (seriously inconvenient rain, I tell you, because once you get that frustrated you just want to figure it the hell out.) I decided to Google it because seriously, it can't be that hard. I watched ONE video and figured it out. Car seat manual, you SUCK! I shooed Jared away and got down to business (I'm not supposed to be doing much besides resting, so he's been on my case about that. But seriously. I was sitting in a chair while doing this. It was SO. EASY.)

The only real issues I have are room and accessibility. I put the seat in the middle back seat for three reasons: 

1) I've read that the middle seat is the safest place. I've also seen this in reality - my parents got into a very, very bad accident with my baby sister in the car, in which she was in a car seat in the middle back seat. The accident pushed her right up between my parents and both sides of the back seat were completely totaled due to the nature of the crash. She was fine, thank goodness. I think that paints a pretty clear picture. 

2) My vehicle has side air bags. I am fairly sure it would be bad to place her right next to one of those. 

3) If I put her in the back passenger seat, the person in the front passenger seat would have to move the seat way up. Since the two people who sit there in most cases have long legs (my 6'4" husband and me) it would really suck. 

The downside to this is that I can't really do much for her if she starts to fuss in there. I can put a mirror back there and see her pretty easily, but with the height of the back of the car seat I can't really reach back there without dislocating something. I just hope she's one of those babies who drifts off the moment you start to drive. That would be swell.

Seriously though - having that car seat installed has given me a ridiculous amount of comfort. I could go into labour tomorrow and know that the seat is there, ready to go, and I'm very reassured by that. Isn't that stupid? It makes me want to get the rest of the baby room done too. Lately I've been in major nesting mode, which is hard because I'm supposed to be relaxing. But having a very clean house is suddenly very important to me. I'm afraid I've been driving Jared crazy with stupid orders, particularly having him wipe down every surface after using it. I'm also DYING to steam clean my carpet. This is the weirdest feeling ever, but the cleanliness of my home suddenly provides me with so much comfort. I suppose this is a good thing because when Baby comes I will have no time to clean so I may as well do so now!

How far along?: 35 weeks & 1 day

Baby is the size of a(n): Coconut

Total weight gain/loss:  27 lbs. Finally started gaining a bit! 

The Bump: Growing - a lot. And rapidly. This hurts the belly as much as it sounds like it would hurt, by the way. Baby is measuring a bit long by the way - 37 inches!

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: The usual. I have been off work this past week as I've had extra lightheadedness,nausea and headaches, all likely stress related as I've been eating lots of iron rich foods and taking my supplements to increase my hemoglobin count. I am going back to work Monday and seriously cannot wait! I've been terribly bored!

Food Cravings/Aversions: Nothing really strong, which is good because I'm trying to get my iron levels up and trying to eat healthy. I've just eaten 3 cookies however. 

Sleep: Better. I'm pretty used to getting up 3 or 4 times a night to pee, but I can fall back to sleep fairly easily. I don't really get more than 6 hours or so, mind you. But it's more than I expected at this stage.

Weddings Rings On or Off: Off as of Tuesday - it was just getting too snug. Feels weird. I have a chain to wear them around my neck but I am very concerned about losing them.

Exercise: Walking. Waddling, really. Stairs and hills are hard work though (very likely due to my low iron. I haven't been walking as much since I've been off work.)

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl! I had a dream that she was a boy - I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

Movement: Starting to slow down a bit as she slowly runs out of space. She's in the perfect spot right now, though (head down, facing my back.) Good girl.

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) 

Labor Signs: Cramps, daily. But nothing consistent. I occasionally get massive pressure on my cervix, and it can be quite painful. I think I've given Jared a couple heart attacks already by reacting to those moments, because they make me double over for a few seconds holding my belly, so it's good practice for him when I go into labour!

What I miss: Everything. Done with pregnancy. I just want her here and to be a Mom and to have my body back!

Best Moment of the Week: Getting the car seat in the car. She can come any time now!

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: My baby shower! Mom has invited a few people over for a small get together for me in about 2 weeks, which is really sweet. I can't wait to see people for what might be the last time before I am a Mom! It will also give me a good idea of what last minute items I need to pick up before she arrives.

34 Weeks - 42 Days to Go!

 Isn't that a lovely number? In 42 days, I get to meet my baby girl. In 42 days, I get to be a Mom instead of a Mom to be. In 42 days, I get to start a cycle of no sleep, with near constant baby puke in my hair, with a diet of saltine crackers or whatever else I can stuff in my face, and weeping out of sheer exhaustion, and none of it will matter because I'll love her so much.

I know that 42 is a rough estimate. I know that most first time moms go over their due dates by an average of 8 days. But it doesn't matter. It's a number and I'm holding on to that.

Here are some things that people don't tell you about pregnancy in your third trimester (or maybe they do, and I've chosen to ignore it)

*Disclaimer: some of this may be too much information but I don't care, it's my blog.*

• You can't reach while on the toilet. 
• You find yourself seriously questioning whether your baby is actually trying to escape out of your belly button. You even Google it to make sure it's never happened.
• You sometimes wonder if it's a baby or a facehugger from Alien.
• You can't put on pants/underwear/socks/shoes like a normal person.
• Shoes suddenly don't fit. But you squeeze into them anyway because you'll be damned if you are going to go buy fat shoes. 
• You completely forget entire conversations you had yesterday. Sometimes you even forget the names of people you work with.
• You will eat an entire box of cookies and secretly hope someone comments on how bad that is for you and baby, just so that you can flip out and possibly rip his or her head off.
• Shaving your legs suddenly takes twice as long, involves strategic belly placement, and usually results in the hot water running out before you are done.
• You learn about hemorrhoids. Oh yes.
• You discover that no matter how much expensive lotion you slather on, you still get stretch marks. Even though Jessica Simpson didn't and she was a whale.
• You can't wait to get back to the gym and do a grueling workout. 
• People will say the most outrageous things to your face about your body, size, shape, and how all of that means you will have a huge baby. Thanks, people.
• You have to pee right after you've peed. When you try to pee again, you can't.
• You discover what it feels like to have a head pressing down on your cervix at inopportune moments, like while walking at the dog park where there is no convenient place to pee/give birth.
• The maternity shirts you bought in your first trimester, the ones you were sure would last you, are now too small to cover your belly.
• Your belly can't possibly grow any larger, but it does.
• You feel like you've been pregnant for a million years. 
• You feel like you'll be pregnant for a million years. 

It's okay though. It's all worth it. And along with the not so sweet and beautiful things about pregnancy come a lot of sweet and beautiful things about pregnancy. Like the fact that you grew a human. Or the fact that you love her so much before you have even laid eyes on her or held her or heard her first words. Or the fact that this person is going to be an extension of your heart and soul for the rest of your life. Your life will change completely, and sometimes that's hard but mostly it's amazing.

42 days. I. Cannot. Wait.

How far along?: 34 weeks

Baby is the size of a(n): Butternut squash 

Total weight gain/loss:  25 lbs (I'd be totally okay with this trend continuing - baby can keep growing and I can keep losing body fat.)

The Bump: Growing - a lot. 

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: Heartburn, achy muscles, lightheaded, super itchy belly due to growth. More (new!) round ligament pain. I don't think I've felt any since early in my second trimester, but I guess that, coupled with stretch marks, probably means I've hit a growth spurt. I'm feeling pretty good though, considering. 

Food Cravings/Aversions: Nothing really strong, but ice cream sure is yummy. 

Sleep: Better than it has been, but I'm tossing and turning a lot - signs that I'm close to the end, apparently! I also have to hold onto my belly when I turn over (which is a lot) and I've been waking up with achy muscles. New: waking up in a panic and not being able to breathe. Not sure whether this is because my lungs are being squished or because I'm having an anxiety attack or something. 

Weddings Rings On or Off: On (I had a dream that I swelled up and couldn't get them off... not sure if that's signs of things to come.) I'm pretty sure that on D-day, if I get the epidural, I'll probably have to at least take them off then due to the fluids they'll be pumping into me. But yea, so far, no swelling. 

Exercise: Walking. Sometimes when I'm walking I can feel Baby pushing on my cervix... eep.

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Lots. She's definitely looking for more room. It hurts sometimes - she's strong! I'm starting to see little feet and hands too! So cute!

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) 

Labor Signs: A little, actually. I think "things" are starting to shift and move around "down there," and that's as detailed as I'll go. But it does hurt. I'm trying not to be a sissy because I know it gets worse in labour. 

What I miss: Being able to put pants on like a normal person. You'll understand what I mean if you've ever been pregnant.

Best Moment of the Week: Getting the crib - finally! It's still in the box but I feel better just having it there now. The mattress is really nice too, actually.. it's covered with this soft, plushy fabric that makes me want to sleep in the crib too! I'm happy that she'll have a nice, soft, safe place to sleep.

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Getting the baby room "babied up" before her arrival. Now that we have the necessities, minus the changing table (not too important currently, as really any surface will do as long as I have the changing pad) and the glider (I'd really like to get this before she comes, as I keep hearing how soothing swinging/rocking is for both mommy and baby while nursing) I would like to make it "her" room now; stuffies, wall decals, mobile, etc. I would like it to be a soothing place for her. 

Pregnant Rambles: 6th Edition - Pregzilla on a Rampage

I seem to do things backwards, even in pregnancy. I thought hormones were more prevalent in the first and second trimesters. Not so for me. For the longest time I was relaxed, chilled out, only occasionally slightly irritable. Even when people got on my nerves I was in control of my inner rage beast, so it was no big deal. I actually think I've been more relaxed and laid back during pregnancy than before I was pregnant.

But lately, oh my word. Lately, I have just been upset for no reason. I have been fed up at - what - the world? Life? And why? I have what I want and things are fine. I can't even explain what it is that is bothering me, but I'm oh-so bothered.

And it's not even that I'm depressed. I'm furious! I'm so angry and indignant and I don't even know what I'm indignant about! I feel like punching everyone in the face (strangers, mostly, not usually people I know) or breaking car windows or joining the smash-the-bus-stop-glass gang.

So I guess I basically want to be Godzilla. Pregzilla.

Since I can't pinpoint any actual reason, real or imaginary, for this rage, I'll just assume it's hormones. I hope it goes away soon before I start to alienate myself from everyone who cares about me. Or before I grow scales and ransack an entire city.

I suspect that a large part of this anger is that I'm so very uncomfortable. I've never been this uncomfortable in my entire life, and as people so cheerfully like to inform me, it will get worse as the weeks go on. I don't know what to do with that information - I'm already so squished and I am fully aware that baby has to nearly double her weight still before she's done baking in there, and where on earth is that extra baby expected to fit?? Between nerves being pinched in my abdomen (what's left of it) and my spine being shoved aside, where is she going to grow? We'll both be so smooshed by the time D-day comes, I don't know who I feel more sorry for.

I'm trying so hard to enjoy my pregnancy, but this last week or so has been pretty trying. I'll hang in there obviously, but wow am I ready to meet this baby and no longer be pregnant!

33 Weeks - I Have New Respect For My Mother

Post-hospital update: everything is fine. Except for my hemoglobin. But, according to my doctors, there's nothing they can do about that. I've been taking iron pills and it's just going to take time to build it up. So in the meantime, I have to be aware of how I'm feeling and take extra care while driving so that I don't, you know... die. No biggie.

They did actually say that if I don't start feeling better soon, they might take me off work. Which I don't want at all because, honestly, what will I do all day? There's only so much nesting a person can do - I don't want to make Baby think we're so much cleaner than we actually are, after all.

Uuuugh this pregnancy. 33 weeks. 33 mostly uneventful weeks, so that's good. I have 4 weeks to go before I'm full term (37 weeks.) I like "4 weeks" better than "7 weeks," which brings me to my due date. I'm feeling pretty stretched right now. Pretty sure I just felt another stretch mark pop up.

How did my Mother do this with TWINS? I feel like an overstuffed turkey, but I can only imagine how it felt to be carrying two huge babies. I am very aware that my clock is running out though. Soon I won't be pregnant anymore, and may never be again. It's an amazing thing, pregnancy. Carrying a little person around in there. And your body just knows what to do to keep her safe and help her grow. It's indescribable.

Anyway, here's what's happening at this point:

Baby's crown-to-rump length is about 17 inches, which seems super long to me. She weighs about 4.5 pounds and gains about 1/2 a pound every week (by my count that will put her at about 6.5 pounds at full term and 8 pounds on my due date! Yowza!) She has moved to the head-down position and may descend at any time in the next six weeks and apparently will start to put pressure on my cervix - I wonder what that will feel like?! This position not only prepares her for birth but allows blood to flow to her developing brain, which is interesting because I did wonder why she prefers her head down. Baby is also in the process of receiving my antibodies. She'd be okay if she were born now but her immune system would be unprepared for life outside the womb so she'd need to be in the NICU for a bit.

How far along?: 33 weeks

Baby is the size of a(n): Durian fruit... whatever that is. 

Total weight gain/loss:  26 lbs (finally going back up - never thought I'd be happy about that but I was a little worried because I was losing weight.)

The Bump: Growing - I now have stretch marks. AND varicose veins. Thanks Baby - they look awesome.

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: Major heartburn. Like, bad. You know that feeling when you have some "sick" in your throat? Yea, feels like that. All the time. Thank goodness for Tums. I'm also pretty lightheaded but I'm hoping that subsides as my iron goes up. The worst is honestly in near constant back pain. I feel like I need to be stretched out.

Food Cravings/Aversions: I don't crave anything anymore. I'm mostly trying to keep a healthy diet that's high in iron, protein, fibre, etc to keep my strength up for D-Day. Eating is more of a science right now than a pleasure. I'm on a schedule that I have to follow or I will just forget.

Sleep: Since I started taking Tums at night, it's been much better. I do have to get up a few times a night to pee and sometimes pop another Tums, but getting back to sleep is no issue. 

Weddings Rings On or Off: On 

Exercise: Walking. I give up on other exercises, except for pelvic floor exercises which are helping my back troubles. Walking is still good and feels great but I am walking much, much slower. 

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Lots. She's definitely looking for more room.

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) 

Labor Signs: Not really... some pain that I think is BH contractions. Fairly "low down" and pretty short though, so I'm not sure.

What I miss: Where to begin... I miss everything. 

Best Moment of the Week: Getting a clean bill of health for baby. Very reassuring. She's exactly the size she should be right now and is doing just fine in there.

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Getting the baby room finished. We already have a lot of stuff, and really we have most of what we need, but I'd like to get the crib in there. I'd like it to be all set for her with every detail in place, though I know that's unrealistic. At least we have diapers!

No bump pic today. Sorry. Perhaps next week.x

Baby Drama - An Impromptu Trip to the Maternity Ward

Let me start off by saying two things:

1) I did not go into labour early, and;
2) Baby and I are both just fine.

I did, however, have a bit of a scare yesterday morning which landed me for several hours in the triage unit at the Foothills Hospital (sadly, I didn't get a preview of the Peter Lougheed Hospital, where I will actually be giving birth in a few weeks.)

Since I am sure that I will be teasing my daughter with this story for the rest of my life, I figured I should jot down the details now before I forget. So, here's what happened:

I was, ironically, on my way to a prenatal appointment where I was hoping to find out how much Baby has grown since my last appointment. I was driving northbound on Deerfoot, one of the busiest roads in the city, and am just grateful that it wasn't too busy considering what was about to happen. I started feeling a little nauseous, which is not uncommon in the mornings when I'm on my way to work, but this time it wouldn't subside with my usual remedies; windows down, music playing, seat warmer on, etc.

I started to worry when I realized what was happening - I was starting to have short, 1 second long blackouts. I tried to shift my position, bounce in my seat, slap my face and self-talk to keep my brain active. But it wasn't working and I knew I needed to get to the side of the road or this would end horribly, because I started to lose my vision and control of my body. Somehow, I made it to the side of the road, and put on my hazards. I remember worrying, stupidly, that I had popped a tire which would hinder me when I felt better and started driving again. I reclined my seat and blasted the AC, hoping that would snap me out of it. I wondered if maybe I just needed a quick cat nap. I glanced at the clock and realized I would miss my appointment, wondered if they would charge me... and then I didn't care.

My vision was obscured completely by bright white light. I've blacked out before and this was different. When I had blacked out before, I remember, very clearly, that it literally went black and I lost control of my body. This was so different - I felt like I was going to throw up, my head was pounding, and I felt like I was dying. I realized I would lose consciousness, that this might be serious and there was no way I'd be fit to drive, and would need an ambulance, so I fished for my phone and guessed where 9-1-1 was on the keypad because my vision was quickly being flooded with the white.

The lady on the phone asked some questions, which I answered, though I don't remember what she asked. It didn't take her long to send an ambulance (telling people you are 32 weeks pregnant gets quick service) and she stayed with me on the phone while I waited, which was basically spent fighting off fainting. I had to put my phone on speaker because it felt too heavy to hold. She was smart too - told me to unlock my doors in case they came and I was already unconscious. Made sure I had my hazards on. I'm grateful that she was doing this, particularly unlocking the doors. If I had lost consciousness, I guess they would have had to break in, and a pricey repair bill was not something I wanted in addition to everything that was happening.

In my haze I saw the ambulance pull up behind me in the side view mirror, and suddenly there was a man tapping on my door (I must have blacked out at that time, though not for long.) Seeing them renewed me and I was a little more aware again for a couple of minutes. I grabbed my stuff and somehow he locked the doors and helped me to the ambulance.

I was very unstable. I knew my feet were moving but I wasn't really in control of them. I was leaning on the paramedic and was vaguely aware that he was shorter than me and likely outweighed him, and felt bad for being so big. These are the stupid things you think of in these moments. Once I was on the gurney (sweet relief) he asked more questions, but I was dipping in and out of consciousness. He gave me some fluid through an IV and the ambulance had, at some point, started moving. I could hear the driver complaining that people weren't moving for her even though she had the lights and sirens going.

I think he did an ECG as well because later in the hospital they removed the stickers. I think it takes a special kind of person to be a paramedic, and he was perfect for the job. Something about him was very soothing, he was gentle and didn't jump to any conclusions.

I loved those paramedics. They stayed with me in the waiting room where I lay on the gurney, and we waited for about 45 minutes before a bed became available. They chatted with me and kept me awake, and when we finally got a bed they wheeled me right in and helped me into bed. I don't know their names. But they were awesome.

I wanted to sleep but couldn't because there were lots of nurses who kept coming in, asking me questions and hooking me up to the machines. They monitored Baby's heartbeat and movement (I was happy to be in the moment with her, listening to her heart and watching her movements on the chart.) They kept pumping me with fluid and ran some tests.

Finally I was left alone, and was able to call Jared, Mom & Dad, work, and my doctor to explain why I missed my appointment. Jared came to the hospital and my Mom worried, Dad wanted to help with whatever he could, and my doctor rescheduled for next week, where I'm sure I'll have to go over my results with her.

I was in the Triage unit and that was actually very good because there were two women in there who were in labour. I could hear them breathing through their contractions, could hear their babies' heartbeats on the monitors, and could subconsciously mentally prepare for my own labour in a few weeks.

I mostly just waited for 6 hours. They frequently tested my blood pressure, which was slowly going back to normal, did another ECG and drew blood. The result? They don't really know.

Could be Baby put pressure on my vena cava vein, cutting off circulation.

Could be my low iron.

Could be the heat.

Could be a combination of all 3.

I've had a couple moments since then in which I felt a similar sensation, so I'm not sure which issue is causing it. But I do know that Baby was perfectly fine and unaware that her mother was in such a state, so that's good.

That's the short version of my drama. All in all it was an interesting experience that I hope I don't have to go through again. There's something very frustrating about going to the maternity ward where all the other women who are surrounding you are having their babies that day, and you aren't even in labour yet. Still I took a lot from the experience and and just extremely grateful that my health plan at work covers ambulance costs!