6 Weeks Old - Time Flies So Fast!

One thing I can say with absolute certainty about being a parent: our capacity to love another person grew by about a million percent the moment we laid eyes on her.

My little girl - my daughter - is 6 weeks old. I can't believe where the time has gone! In all honesty I can't really muster up an apology for not blogging  because, let's face it, spending time with this brand new little person is much more important than blogging about spending time with this brand new little person.

So, who is my little girl? At this stage, she's still mostly a glorified fetus, however she has started giggling, rarely, and when she smiles at me it makes me soar. My little Morgan sleeps about 6 hours straight on good nights, then wakes up for about a half hour for some food and cuddles, then sleeps usually another 3 or 4 hours. That's amazing!

She has her witching hours of course - usually around noon and again around 6 in the evening, as we are trying to settle her down for bed. After a couple of weeks discerning that she had a combination of gassiness and lactose overload, we have started to see a happier baby lately. She doesn't strain as much during her waking hours, and she naps better. Granted, she naps in her swing, but apparently anything goes up to 2 months of age.

The next few weeks will be a bit more challenging for us as we start to get her into a sleeping pattern at night, one in which we don't let her fall asleep in our arms before gently placing her in her crib. No - this time, we have to put her to bed drowsy and let her cry. Listening to my baby cry out for me is going to be utter torture.

40 Weeks & 6 Days - The Birth Story

My due date came and went, as expected, and with it went September. I recall joking with people about her waiting to show up until October back in my second trimester, but I never for a moment imagined she actually would arrive in October. I figured late, late September. I figured she'd share a birthday month with my sister and her boyfriend and several of my friends. The little lady had other plans.

And so, on a gorgeous, sunny fall day in October, Morgan Brynn Hall made her entrance into the world. October 1st, to be specific, at 6:51 in the morning. 

This is the birth story of my beautiful little girl.

Morgan Brynn Hall

9 lbs, 6 oz

21 inches

Born October 1st, 2014

6:51 a.m.

Tuesday, September 30th

3 a.m. - I woke up with what I immediately knew was a contraction. It hurt! But was very manageable. Was I concerned about what was to come? Absolutely. I silently cheered about the prospect of having the baby in the next 48 hours and put myself back to bed. 

4 a.m. - Second contraction. Needless to say, this was going to be slow. Over the next few hours, the went from 1 hour apart to 40 minutes to 30 minutes to 20 minutes, at which point I got up and had a shower. I'd read that showers can often stop false labour - but it didn't stop. I though this might be it!

6 to 7 a.m. - They started to get pretty close together, about 5 minutes apart and increasingly painful - though still manageable. As this went on for about an hour, I decided to follow my doctor's 5-1-1 rule: they were 5 minutes apart, lasting at least 1 minute, for at least an hour. So we grabbed everything and went to the hospital.

8 a.m. - In triage being monitored, and sadly discovered that I was still only at a 1. ONE! So they sent me home for more fun labour.

9 to 2 p.m - My sense of time gets a little fuzzy here. I was at home, labouring, watching Walking Dead. Some people may find it weird to watch zombie stuff on TV while labouring on the living room floor and walking around, but it worked for me. I think I did pretty good, breathing through the contractions and following my main goal - Do Not Lose Control. But the contractions were getting pretty tough and were about 3 minutes apart so, off we went to the hospital again. 

At this point, I was in some pain. I was sure that I'd progressed. Hopefully to a 3 but I'd settle for a 2! Surely I hadn't laboured for the last several hours in vain!

Checked. One. ONE!!! I was tired, and opted for the morphine shot. The doctors wanted me to walk around to help progress, but as that was what I had been doing for the last few hours, I figured my best bet was to sleep and let my body progress without me stressing about the pain.

3 - 7 p.m. - Pure bliss. I was out the moment my head hit the pillow and suddenly it was 5 p.m. The doctors wanted to see me at 5 but mentioned that if I was still tired I could continue to sleep, so, 2 hours later we went back.  

And that's what did the trick - 3 centimeters. I was officially in active labour! I was admitted (finally!) and pretty quickly, I got the lovely epidural!

Wednesday, October 1st

Sometime between 8 p.m. and 5 a.m. I was blissfully drifting in and out of a beautiful epidural dream. It was exactly the labour I wanted. I was rested and calm and prepared. 

I think it was around 5 a.m. that I started to feel some labour pains again and the nurse had me turn over a few times to distribute the epidural. It wasn't working though, and I was feeling pressure to push. They checked me and I was at an 8 but I felt much more than I thought I should be, pain wise. I was starting to get concerned, and then suddenly a wave of immense pain washed over me and all at once I shot up, yelled for a puke bucket and at that moment, Jared noticed that my pillow was wet. Wet with glorious, wasted epidural juice. 

The epidural had become disconnected. 

THE EPIDURAL HAD BECOME DISCONNECTED! I knew I was feeling more pain than I should have. Thankfully, they tracked down the anesthetist and they fixed it, but the problem was that I was in transition labour and it was time to push. I hoped that it would start to kick in before pushing commenced.

It didn't. 

I can't recall if I had tried a push or two at this point or if they just checked me, but the dreaded forceps came up. She was big, and her chest and belly and not to mention her head was big. They were concerned about her getting stuck and were sure that forceps would be needed.

I had a good long cry at this point. I didn't want any forceps or vacuum or anything in delivering her, and was terrified. I was also STILL IN PAIN! I accepted that I might have to allow for some interventions, got over myself, and tried to get back in control.

And then, it was time to push. Come what may.

Pushing hurt. It was a different kind of pain than the contractions, and I can't decide if it was worse or not. I just know that once she started coming out, I couldn't handle lolly gagging. I also knew that I was not going to go through this only to have forceps used as well!

"Can you see her head?" I asked at one point.

"Yes, but pushing will take a few hours, especially as you are a first time mom." Not very encouraging!

A few hours? I knew this going in, sure. But hearing them saying it while in the middle of pushing her out made that seem absolutely impossible. So, I pushed. I pushed so hard that I thought my head was going to explode. I envisioned holding my baby. I reminded myself that the pain would only go away once she was out. I remembered everything I had learned about pushing down and not into your chest. I worked hard. Damn hard. Time blurred and sped up and stood still all at the same time.

6:51 a.m. - A wriggling, screaming, huge baby girl was placed on my stomach. Pushing took twenty minutes. I'm impressed at what you can be motivated to do with a little pain.

And she was PERFECT. In every single way. She was big and strong, scored a 9 and a 9.5 on her apgar, was screaming and loud and perfect. Even her head was a perfect shape - so perfect you'd think she was a cesarean baby. 

I'm a little emotional looking back on it now (and sore - I tore and had an episiotomy but it was worth it.) I had a baby. A daughter. I HAVE a daughter, this perfect little being snoozing peacefully in her bassinet beside me, a sweet little baby girl, who I can't believe how much I love. 

It's true that you'll never know a love like this until it happens to you. It's the most amazing, life-altering, exhilarating experience in the entire world. I would lay my life on the line without a second thought for her, go through hours of torture for her, do anything for her. And she's only 13 days old! 

I am excited to watch Morgan grow up. I can't wait to watch her achieve all her milestones and learn and grow and become a person of her own. I am so, so lucky to be her mother. 

I have to say thank you here to Jared, who has stumbled along with me as we learn to be parents. It's not always easy but together we're working out a routine and a system. For the first time in both of our lives, we have someone besides each other to look after, and it's daunting. Also, wonderful.

I also want to thank my mom and dad, especially mom for putting up with the incessant phone calls both during the pregnancy and after the birth, as well as being there for me when Morgan arrived. I love my family so much and they've all welcomed Morgan in as though she's always been there - I am so happy that she's already so adored. 

Welcome to the world, Baby Morgan!   

40 Weeks & 3 Days - Beyond Uncomfortable!

Still pregnant. Sure it's only been three days past my due date but here's what I didn't realize might happen at this stage - I've had no definitive signs of anything happening at all that might point towards labour starting. I thought I'd have, you know... something. Anything. The tiniest little sign that labour was imminent, like some dilation or something. But nope, I feel normal (though uncomfortable) and haven't experienced anything especially interesting. The nesting phase has come and gone, though I do find that for some reason I am extremely happy in my very, very clean house. I've never found so much joy in a vacuumed carpet, ever. I'm relishing in it now because I know I'll have no time to do it later and we'll just have to live with dog and cat hair a little bit.

I just feel like we're ready to enter the next phase. We have her room, she has clothes and toys and a life here already. She's already a part of our lives and she's not even here yet. I'm a Mother but I can't hold my baby - yes I realize I'm holding her inside me, but it's different! I want to get to know her face, her eyes, her skin, her smell, and of course, her personality. I'm ready to watch her grow and learn.

I have an induction scheduled for Thursday morning, so at least I'll have some idea if nothing happens by then. I at least know that by Friday, or possibly the early hours of Saturday, I'll have my baby.

Finally.

How far along?: 40 weeks & 3 days

Baby is the size of a(n): Jack Fruit (and apparently roughly 9 lbs.)

Total weight gain/loss:  38 lbs (possibly due to being in an "I am 3 days overdue so I'm going to eat this 2nd cupcake, dammit" frame of mind.) 

The Bump: I feel like I look smaller. Maybe the rest of me is getting bigger .... 

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: Frustrated. I think I've gotten everything out of this pregnancy that I possibly can, as has my Baby, and at this point we're just going downhill. I feel like my body is starting to fight off this big belly, as though it's decided that enough is enough. Hopefully that will throw me into labour.

Food Cravings/Aversions: I just want comfort food. I don't really care about what I'm eating. It's pretty bad, but I think subconsciously, I realize that she is basically done cooking in there and won't benefit as much from my healthy diet. So not true, but that's what I believe is happening.

Sleep: The other night I slept so well, like I did before I was pregnant. I thought hey, maybe that means I'll luck out and have the baby today, since I'm so well rested! Nope. And haven't had a night like that since. 

Weddings Rings On or Off: Off. My hands are pretty puffy! I really hope I can wear them again without having to re-size them. After a while, you start to wonder.

Exercise: None. Some walking. I am trying to walk as much as possible but with a baby putting so much pressure on your pelvis, it's pretty hard. and Painful.

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Starting to slow down a bit. I believe she's fine, just running out of space. I haven't felt the need to call the hospital or anything.

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) and some most of them just aren't cutting it anymore! I feel like I'm doing a wash every few days because my wardrobe is so tiny.

Labor Signs: Nope. Thought I was feeling contractions last night, but it may have just been her moving.

What I miss: Everything about not being pregnant! But it will be worth it.

Best Moment of the Week: Thinking I might be going into labour. But I wasn't. :(

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Her arrival. My new life as a mom. Putting pregnancy (and maternity clothes) behind me.

40 weeks - No Signs of Baby Yet

I guess a certain little person is far too cozy in there. It's strange - today is my due date and I've read a lot of blog posts from other expectant mothers who had some disappointment on their due dates when Baby never made an appearance. Maybe I'm just acutely aware that most babies are in fact not born on their due dates, or maybe it's that I haven't had a single, exciting sign that labour is imminent. Either way, I just don't feel that disappointed. I wasn't expecting her today, so it's just another day.

I have plans to vacuum and tidy up, so who knows - maybe that will kick off labour! I do have a bumpdate today though, just in case it's my last one before she's here:

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How far along?: 40 weeks!

Baby is the size of a(n): Jack Fruit (and apparently roughly 9 lbs.)

Total weight gain/loss:  35 lbs 

The Bump: I haven't noticed a huge difference in size, but she's moving downwards so the shape of my belly is different.

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: Just, big. I can't do anything anymore without considering careful belly placement. I'm hungry but food is not helping (I think everything is going to the baby) and I'm tired but can't sleep. I have to pee all the time but nothing happens! So frustrated at this point!

Food Cravings/Aversions: Nothing at this stage. I've been just trying to eat relatively healthy and prepare for D-Day.

Sleep: Hard again. Super restless. I think that's just because she's on her way. Plus my belly is just too huge to be comfortable sleeping with.

Weddings Rings On or Off: Off. My hands are pretty puffy!

Exercise: Not really. Some housework, but truthfully I get pretty wiped out pretty quickly. 

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Still moving a fair amount, and it hurts! I could see from the ultrasound that she's pretty squished in there.

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) and some most of them just aren't cutting it anymore!

Labor Signs: Not especially. I feel her moving down, but nothing is happening. Feeling relatively normal.

What I miss: Everything about not being pregnant! But it will be worth it.

Best Moment of the Week: Seeing her in the ultrasound. So exciting! Except for finding out just how big she's measuring! I could see her face though and it just made it so real! She has chubby cheeks and looks altogether fat and cute!

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Baby day!!! What else is there at this point??

39 Weeks - Baby is too Comfortable

One week to go and it feels pretty anti-climactic! Not much is happening. I am off work, relaxing, nesting and basically just waiting.

I'm keeping a pretty close eye on what my body is doing and guess what? It's doing a whole lotta nothin.' Not after hours of vacuuming, steam cleaning, dog park walks and countless loads of laundry. So - I give up. Baby is happy in there. So be it!

How far along?: 39 weeks & 1 day

Baby is the size of a(n): Watermelon

Total weight gain/loss:  35 lbs 

The Bump: I think it's as big as it's getting, Thank GOD

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: I'm feeling pretty good actually. I think it helps that I've been resting at home instead of going to work, which really helps my back pain and fatigue. It's been very nice.

Food Cravings/Aversions: Nothing at this stage. I've been just trying to eat relatively healthy and prepare for D-Day.

Sleep: Still tough, but now that I am off work I can sleep late so I've been getting a lot of sleep.

Weddings Rings On or Off: Off. My hands are pretty puffy!

Exercise: Walking and lots of housework. I'm trying to continue until Baby comes.

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Slowing down. I have to keep an eye on it at this stage as she moves much slower than before. 

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) and some most of them just aren't cutting it anymore!

Labor Signs: Not really. I'm feeling pretty normal, unfortunately! I'm dying for a sign!

What I miss: Being normal! I'm just very tired of pregnancy.

Best Moment of the Week: Getting the baby room done. We're finally ready!

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Baby day!!!

38 Weeks - Birth Is Looming (Also Terrifying)

I have spent a few days talking to my Mom about my fear of the birth, which suddenly seems very soon and very scary. I've been trying to keep positive about it but it really does scare me. I can only imagine what I would be feeling had I chosen a drug free birth!

What scares me? The pain, obviously. I am also concerned about the Baby. You just have no idea what can happen during delivery, do you? And the negative person inside me (who admittedly sometimes speaks a little louder than the positive person) is concerned that these last nine months have lead to something bad. Which is terrible because instead of worrying I should be enjoying it. But I think there's just too much information out there these days; too many stories of what can go wrong, too many sad endings. That, and I worked for a Government department that dealt exclusively with childhood disabilities for about six years, and let me tell you, that doesn't do much for the sanity of an expectant mother.

I'm trying to combat these negative thoughts with positive ones. Thoughts like, I get to hold my baby soon. I get to see who she looks more like. I get to see what colour her hair is and if she has dimples. I get to try nursing and I get to dress her in her sleeper for the first time. I get to try out all the baby stuff I got.

I get to be a mother.

I do believe in the power of positive thinking, and I have so many well wishers in my life that I'm sure the positivity will drown out the negativity.

So here I am with just a couple of weeks left to go. I'm feeling pretty beat up, both physically and mentally. Physically, because I'm literally being beaten from the inside by my daughter's tiny fists, knees, elbows and feet. She's squirming around and as we're both out of space, it hurts. I can feel it in my back now as well. I am also feeling the effects of frequent contractions - it's like I've been doing sit ups day and night!

Mentally, because Oh. My. Goodness. I am so tired. So emotionally exhausted. I can't seem to sleep lately because I just can't settle in and relax. I also have really bad heart burn, which means I basically can't lie down. And getting up to pee every 2 minutes doesn't exactly allow for a decent rest. So I'm really looking forward to having a week off and trying to get in as much rest as I possibly can before she comes, because I'll need that energy for the birth and afterwards!

Bumpdate:

How far along?: 38 weeks

Baby is the size of a(n): Pumpkin, apparently?!

Total weight gain/loss:  35 lbs 

The Bump: Large! People do love to comment on how big they think the baby will be. 

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: A lot of pressure everywhere. Tired, achy. The usual. It's all okay though, she's on her way.

Food Cravings/Aversions: Nothing new, really. Just trying to get enough food in general.

Sleep: So many issues with sleeping right now I'm not even going to go into detail: heartburn, nausea, back pain, hip pain, lung capacity issues, restless legs. I'm glad I have a week off.

Weddings Rings On or Off: Off. 

Exercise: Walking, or waddling as it is. Still moving though. Very, very slow.

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Still feeling it every day, which is good. I'm keeping a much closer eye on it right now. I was mildly concerned last night but she started kicking a lot so that eased my concerns.

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) and some of them just aren't cutting it anymore!

Labor Signs: A few. Stronger BH contractions. I can feel her moving down a bit. Nothing telling, however. Every little symptom I get, I Google. And Google just tells me that labour is imminent. No specifics.

What I miss: Sleeping! I'm so uncomfortable! Plus, just movement in general is getting harder as the weeks go on. And wine. I miss wine, especially since it snowed here and there's just something about coming in out of the snow to a nice glass of wine.

Best Moment of the Week: My shower! It was good to see people and now I have a very clear idea about what I need. My baby room is looking a little cramped - I have to organize everything now, and had planned to this weekend but after vacuuming and steam cleaning the carpet, I was pooped! I think that will be my task during my week off.

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Baby day! It's getting closer! I'm looking forward to not being pregnant and getting into a (sort of) routine with hubby and baby. Feeling a little in transition right now, and that's not something I do well. I need my life back!

37 Weeks - Full Term!

First off, can I just say "OW." Ouch, ouch, ouch. This hurts! I think that as baby wiggles down in preparation for the birth, she's pulling quite a lot along with her, stretching beyond capacity my ligaments and, well, anything holding my body together at this point. Ow.

BUT HEY! Full term! A little scary, actually, considering what my pregnancy books say can happen now. What can happen now is basically anything. I could go into labour! I could just be walkin' along and my water could just break! (Okay probably not because in most cases your water doesn't break when you're standing!)

BUT -

I could be chillin' on the couch just watching Friends reruns and my water could break or I could start getting contractions!

AND -

These restless nights I've been having could be a precursor to labour!

I should probably get that hospital bag packed. 

I've been trying not to freak out too much about stuff that I have yet to do. Because we're mostly ready for her. For example, the crib is not yet set up, but it's okay because the bassinet is all set next to the bed. I don't have everything I need yet - but I know it's coming, as I've spoken to people about it and have a swing, a baby tub, and formula all on it's way very soon! I also joined the Nestle Baby program and just got notification that a bunch of free stuff, including a diaper bag, is on it's way, which is very cool! So basically the most important stuff, like having the car seat set up all ready for her to come home, outfits to bring her home in, a place to sleep, bottles, etc, are all set. The main thing she needs is me and her Dad, so we're good to go!

I tend to be a *bit* of an over-planner, so it's hard for me to just let the chips fall where they may. But I know that I need to start getting better at that because with babies, it seems that planning anything is futile.

I've been feeling a little sentimental lately about being at the end of my pregnancy. There is something special about carrying a baby, even through all of my complaining. People smile at you just for being pregnant, which is nice. Plus, there's the fact that you created a human being, which in itself is pretty freaking amazing. I mean, she has fingernails and eyelashes and a brain and feelings and everything. She is a PERSON! She's a person who is currently smooshing my bladder, but that's okay.

I am dying to meet her though. I'm really feeling quite ready to be a Mom. I'm aware that it will be hard, and emotional, but I also keep getting told how worth it motherhood is. So, let's do this. Just a few more weeks baby!

How far along?: 37 weeks

Baby is the size of a(n): Winter melon

Total weight gain/loss:  30 lbs 

The Bump: Quite stretched. Again, ow.

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: Symptoms - vericose veins, stretch marks, itchy abdomen, heartburn, restlessness, tiredness, back ache, nerve pain, ligament pain... And as to how I'm feeling? Considering all that, not too shabby. I've been worse! 

Food Cravings/Aversions: Juice, cookies. Stopped buying cookies. Can't be having a box a day now! Unhealthy!

Sleep: Meh.. it's okay. I don't get a very long or restful sleep most nights. 

Weddings Rings On or Off: Off. 

Exercise: Walking, or waddling as it is. Still moving though. 

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Still feeling it every day, which is good. 

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) and some of them just aren't cutting it anymore!

Labor Signs: Contractions. Nothing regular. Pressure "down there" is getting stronger. I am getting way more BH contractions too, and they're getting more intense. I'm now able to easily differentiate between a contraction and movement. I have two different kinds of pain, and I'm curious about which one is more like what the actual contractions will feel like. The first is pretty intense pelvic pressure which feels like I'm going to be split in half, and the second is my uterus contracting. I'm sort of hoping it will be more like the second one, because the first one will send me into panic mode pretty fast! It's painful, yes, but it's hard to convince your brain that you are not in fact about to be torn in half. 

What I miss: Not having a huge bump that hinders my every activity. Honestly, it's getting a little annoying! I can't put on my shoes, can't sit at a desk properly, can't open doors... 

Best Moment of the Week: Besides reaching the magical "full term" date, nothing of note. Life is super boring these days as I can't really do too much.

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: My shower. So grateful to my family for throwing it for me, and I didn't' even have to invite anyone! I am seriously very excited about it for several reasons - food, family, friends, and of course presents... but also just the fact that it's the LAST thing before I go on mat leave. It's the last step I need to take and the last part of my preparation stage. All that is left to do after that is have a baby! Piece of cake!

36 Weeks - Guess Who is Full Term NEXT WEEK?

This Gal. I can't tell you how excited that makes me. I can actually say to people when they ask me when I'm having the baby, "any day now!" and it's probably true!

I know, it's a little premature (haha) to be thinking of that at this point as I currently have 28 days left until my actual due date, and as people are so fond of telling me, it's normal for first time moms to deliver late. Blah. I'm just going to pretend that I don't know that. I think telling yourself little white lies at times like these helps to make the days go by a little faster.

Especially considering how unbelievably uncomfortable I already am. And I know there's more to come because this baby is just going to get bigger. I just cannot imagine. So I won't.

Had a lovely lunch yesterday with two awesome friends and one of their babies. Seeing that little girl really made me want my own little girl OUT! Carrying her has been an enriching experience, and not always a pleasant one, but I'm definitely ready to get the show on the road! I know motherhood is tough but I also know it's worth it. And it's something I feel like I'm never going to experience because it feels like I've been pregnant for EVER!

I also snagged some awesome baby gear from my friend, which I'm very grateful for. Jared and I are not made of money so we are happily taking hand-me-downs!

I'm getting more and more curious and fearful about labour. When I ask most people about it, they say it usually starts with bad period like cramps. I know what those can be like, so okay, got it. But what about when they increase in intensity? I've heard that they feel like:

- the biggest bowel movement ever
- intense "tightenings"
- the worst pain ever
- something is ripping you open from the inside out

and my personal favourite so far:

- a pain you could never possibly imagine

Goody! What am I supposed to do with that information? How do I know if I will be able to cope with it or not? And the funny thing is, I'm planning on getting the epidural, so I'm really just talking about the not-so-bad contractions before I get to about 4 centimeters or something. God FORBID I don't get the epidural. That will send me right over the edge!

I know my body will do what it is supposed to do, but it's getting increasingly terrifying.

One thing I'm a little sad about this week: I won't be able to see my friends for our annual labour day camping trip. Usually I go for at least a night, and it's pretty fun, often very chilly at night but nothing too crazy. I'm in my 9th month now and can't realistically go out to an area with no cell reception and no hospital for miles around. Even for a few hours. I don't even know if I can go next year, either, at least not with Baby. It does get very chilly at night and she'd be so small and vulnerable. I am definitely looking forward to camping trips as a family though. I've always loved camping and can't wait to watch her experience camping the way I did!

How far along?: 36 weeks

Baby is the size of a(n): Honeydew Melon (feels more like a watermelon, surrounded by other watermelons. Very big.)

Total weight gain/loss:  30 lbs (starting to feel a little sad looking at the scales I'll be honest)

The Bump: Growing - a lot. I actually feel like I may explode. One slight bump in the wrong direction and I'll pop like a water balloon. It's very sensitive, hard and hurts when touched.

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: Back at work, but honestly I feel too worn out to be here. This constant rib/back pain I've been feeling is getting very old, very fast, and sitting in an office chair makes it worse. Emotionally, I'm ready for this baby to arrive. I'm excited to meet her and believe it or not I'm a little (TINY BIT) sad that the pregnancy is almost over. I know I'm miserable right now, but I also know how special it is to be pregnant. 

Food Cravings/Aversions: I've been staving off my juice cravings since, what, the beginning of my 2nd trimester? Beyond that, just sweet stuff, like cookies. I also can't be bothered to cook, which makes it a little harder to eat healthy. Aversions - salads have turned me right off for months. I don't even buy lettuce anymore. I'm happy to heat up some frozen veggies but that's the extent of that. I'm pretty good with fruit though.

Sleep: Better. I think baby is going through some growth spurts, because sometimes I sleep quite comfortably, and other times my belly aches (feels like pulled muscles) every time I move. 

Weddings Rings On or Off: Off. I hate not wearing them. Not that being pregnant necessarily invites men to pursue me. The swelling isn't too bad though and doesn't hurt.

Exercise: Walking, but very slowly. I can barely move my body these days. I have 4 weeks to go too!

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Picking up again. She's running out of space so I feel a lot of frustrated nudges from her. As uncomfortable as I am I still feel badly for her. At least I have room to stretch out in my environment!

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) 

Labor Signs: Contractions. Nothing regular. They do hurt though. I am very concerned about labor, and how I'll react to the pain. I'm hoping I can keep my head, at least.

What I miss: Comfort in general is something that is getting farther out of reach as the weeks creep on. I just miss not being pregnant and will be happy to have her out!

Best Moment of the Week: Seeing a couple of friends - seriously, I don't go out much. Also, I got a parking spot at work so I don't have to walk 15 minutes to and from my car everyday. That doesn't seem like much but as I mentioned, I'm moving awfully slowly and it's painful!

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Reaching that full term date. 37 weeks is considered full term and I'm going to be SO excited to be expecting a baby within weeks! Also, my shower is next weekend, and that's going to be fun, and the LAST time I get to see a lot of people before baby! Plus it will give me a good idea of what else we need to get for her. Last minute item shopping for a very exciting event!

Quick Bumpdate: 35 Weeks & 2 Days

I didn't have time to get the hubby to take a quick pic and truthfully, he's not a very good photographer :P So here is a bumpdate!

35 Weeks - Preparing for Birth and Fun with Car Seats!

I've discovered an awesome show on British TV - One Born Every Minute on Channel 4 (GOD I miss Channel 4.) It's amazing! I've been trying to expose myself (perhaps desensitize myself?) to the many different labours that women go through, and this show really helps me do that. It seems like some women absolutely lose control with the pain while others breathe through it fairly easily. Well, maybe easily is the wrong word. But they keep their head's about them while others just flail in agony.

Now, if you've read this blog you know that I'm pretty much up for whatever pain relief available as soon as possible and, while I know I can't completely avoid pain, I'd like to avoid feeling that really intense pain that women who give birth naturally feel. It seems like the epidural is really the best solution for me because I would probably be one of those women that loses control without some relief. I just find it so interesting that the difference in pain thresholds is so incredibly vast. This terrifies me. I understand why some women want a natural birth with no interventions - they want to remember it, they want their experience to be beautiful and meaningful, and have a clear head afterwards. For me though, I don't really care about a memorable birth. For me it's not about the birth, it's about the baby. That's the part I care about and that's the ONLY part I care about. I don't want my husband traumatized by seeing me in immense pain. I don't want a "beautiful experience." I don't want to remember it. I don't want to feel what transition feels like or even to feel contractions so that I know when to push. I don't deal with pain well at all, and would lose control, forget to breathe, and be basically inconsolable. And probably will mentally block most of it anyway.

All I want is to head over to the hospital when my contractions are about 5-10 minutes apart, get the epidural, sleep and be prepared to hold my baby for the first time. The rest doesn't make a difference to me. I only hope I get that birth - the birth with the least amount of pain and the least amount of stress to me and baby.

I feel that I'm prepared though, if I for some reason can't get the epidural or it doesn't work. It will be awful, but it's only a moment in time in the long run, and I know I could do it if I had to - and obviously, I would have to in that situation. I think that's part of what watching this show (and others) is all about - I'm preparing myself for whatever birth should happen to come my way. As we know, babies come when they want to, and sometimes that's super fast, other times it's super slow. And clearly, sometimes the level of pain is unpredictable. 

Onto a less painful topic. Sort of! Finally got the car seat installed. I was annoyed at the car seat manual for mucking me up - it told me to check my car manual to see if my vehicle has UAS child restraints. I should never have done this as it only confused me. I looked in my manual and found two different types of restraints but nothing that considered itself to be a UAS restraint. Ugh. I ruled out the first one immediately as it looks as though it is for a front facing car seat. So okay. But the second one said something about an ISOFIX or something, which oddly I did find in the car seat manual as well but had NO idea how to use it. At this point, I was so stressed, because you have to use the UAS system if your vehicle has it, and as most vehicles after year 2003 or something have it, I figured mine MUST have it. But I couldn't find it and no where did either manual explain how to find it.

After much frustration for both Jared and I, we called it, which was fine as it had started to pour on us (seriously inconvenient rain, I tell you, because once you get that frustrated you just want to figure it the hell out.) I decided to Google it because seriously, it can't be that hard. I watched ONE video and figured it out. Car seat manual, you SUCK! I shooed Jared away and got down to business (I'm not supposed to be doing much besides resting, so he's been on my case about that. But seriously. I was sitting in a chair while doing this. It was SO. EASY.)

The only real issues I have are room and accessibility. I put the seat in the middle back seat for three reasons: 

1) I've read that the middle seat is the safest place. I've also seen this in reality - my parents got into a very, very bad accident with my baby sister in the car, in which she was in a car seat in the middle back seat. The accident pushed her right up between my parents and both sides of the back seat were completely totaled due to the nature of the crash. She was fine, thank goodness. I think that paints a pretty clear picture. 

2) My vehicle has side air bags. I am fairly sure it would be bad to place her right next to one of those. 

3) If I put her in the back passenger seat, the person in the front passenger seat would have to move the seat way up. Since the two people who sit there in most cases have long legs (my 6'4" husband and me) it would really suck. 

The downside to this is that I can't really do much for her if she starts to fuss in there. I can put a mirror back there and see her pretty easily, but with the height of the back of the car seat I can't really reach back there without dislocating something. I just hope she's one of those babies who drifts off the moment you start to drive. That would be swell.

Seriously though - having that car seat installed has given me a ridiculous amount of comfort. I could go into labour tomorrow and know that the seat is there, ready to go, and I'm very reassured by that. Isn't that stupid? It makes me want to get the rest of the baby room done too. Lately I've been in major nesting mode, which is hard because I'm supposed to be relaxing. But having a very clean house is suddenly very important to me. I'm afraid I've been driving Jared crazy with stupid orders, particularly having him wipe down every surface after using it. I'm also DYING to steam clean my carpet. This is the weirdest feeling ever, but the cleanliness of my home suddenly provides me with so much comfort. I suppose this is a good thing because when Baby comes I will have no time to clean so I may as well do so now!

How far along?: 35 weeks & 1 day

Baby is the size of a(n): Coconut

Total weight gain/loss:  27 lbs. Finally started gaining a bit! 

The Bump: Growing - a lot. And rapidly. This hurts the belly as much as it sounds like it would hurt, by the way. Baby is measuring a bit long by the way - 37 inches!

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: The usual. I have been off work this past week as I've had extra lightheadedness,nausea and headaches, all likely stress related as I've been eating lots of iron rich foods and taking my supplements to increase my hemoglobin count. I am going back to work Monday and seriously cannot wait! I've been terribly bored!

Food Cravings/Aversions: Nothing really strong, which is good because I'm trying to get my iron levels up and trying to eat healthy. I've just eaten 3 cookies however. 

Sleep: Better. I'm pretty used to getting up 3 or 4 times a night to pee, but I can fall back to sleep fairly easily. I don't really get more than 6 hours or so, mind you. But it's more than I expected at this stage.

Weddings Rings On or Off: Off as of Tuesday - it was just getting too snug. Feels weird. I have a chain to wear them around my neck but I am very concerned about losing them.

Exercise: Walking. Waddling, really. Stairs and hills are hard work though (very likely due to my low iron. I haven't been walking as much since I've been off work.)

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl! I had a dream that she was a boy - I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

Movement: Starting to slow down a bit as she slowly runs out of space. She's in the perfect spot right now, though (head down, facing my back.) Good girl.

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) 

Labor Signs: Cramps, daily. But nothing consistent. I occasionally get massive pressure on my cervix, and it can be quite painful. I think I've given Jared a couple heart attacks already by reacting to those moments, because they make me double over for a few seconds holding my belly, so it's good practice for him when I go into labour!

What I miss: Everything. Done with pregnancy. I just want her here and to be a Mom and to have my body back!

Best Moment of the Week: Getting the car seat in the car. She can come any time now!

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: My baby shower! Mom has invited a few people over for a small get together for me in about 2 weeks, which is really sweet. I can't wait to see people for what might be the last time before I am a Mom! It will also give me a good idea of what last minute items I need to pick up before she arrives.

34 Weeks - 42 Days to Go!

 Isn't that a lovely number? In 42 days, I get to meet my baby girl. In 42 days, I get to be a Mom instead of a Mom to be. In 42 days, I get to start a cycle of no sleep, with near constant baby puke in my hair, with a diet of saltine crackers or whatever else I can stuff in my face, and weeping out of sheer exhaustion, and none of it will matter because I'll love her so much.

I know that 42 is a rough estimate. I know that most first time moms go over their due dates by an average of 8 days. But it doesn't matter. It's a number and I'm holding on to that.

Here are some things that people don't tell you about pregnancy in your third trimester (or maybe they do, and I've chosen to ignore it)

*Disclaimer: some of this may be too much information but I don't care, it's my blog.*

• You can't reach while on the toilet. 
• You find yourself seriously questioning whether your baby is actually trying to escape out of your belly button. You even Google it to make sure it's never happened.
• You sometimes wonder if it's a baby or a facehugger from Alien.
• You can't put on pants/underwear/socks/shoes like a normal person.
• Shoes suddenly don't fit. But you squeeze into them anyway because you'll be damned if you are going to go buy fat shoes. 
• You completely forget entire conversations you had yesterday. Sometimes you even forget the names of people you work with.
• You will eat an entire box of cookies and secretly hope someone comments on how bad that is for you and baby, just so that you can flip out and possibly rip his or her head off.
• Shaving your legs suddenly takes twice as long, involves strategic belly placement, and usually results in the hot water running out before you are done.
• You learn about hemorrhoids. Oh yes.
• You discover that no matter how much expensive lotion you slather on, you still get stretch marks. Even though Jessica Simpson didn't and she was a whale.
• You can't wait to get back to the gym and do a grueling workout. 
• People will say the most outrageous things to your face about your body, size, shape, and how all of that means you will have a huge baby. Thanks, people.
• You have to pee right after you've peed. When you try to pee again, you can't.
• You discover what it feels like to have a head pressing down on your cervix at inopportune moments, like while walking at the dog park where there is no convenient place to pee/give birth.
• The maternity shirts you bought in your first trimester, the ones you were sure would last you, are now too small to cover your belly.
• Your belly can't possibly grow any larger, but it does.
• You feel like you've been pregnant for a million years. 
• You feel like you'll be pregnant for a million years. 

It's okay though. It's all worth it. And along with the not so sweet and beautiful things about pregnancy come a lot of sweet and beautiful things about pregnancy. Like the fact that you grew a human. Or the fact that you love her so much before you have even laid eyes on her or held her or heard her first words. Or the fact that this person is going to be an extension of your heart and soul for the rest of your life. Your life will change completely, and sometimes that's hard but mostly it's amazing.

42 days. I. Cannot. Wait.

How far along?: 34 weeks

Baby is the size of a(n): Butternut squash 

Total weight gain/loss:  25 lbs (I'd be totally okay with this trend continuing - baby can keep growing and I can keep losing body fat.)

The Bump: Growing - a lot. 

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: Heartburn, achy muscles, lightheaded, super itchy belly due to growth. More (new!) round ligament pain. I don't think I've felt any since early in my second trimester, but I guess that, coupled with stretch marks, probably means I've hit a growth spurt. I'm feeling pretty good though, considering. 

Food Cravings/Aversions: Nothing really strong, but ice cream sure is yummy. 

Sleep: Better than it has been, but I'm tossing and turning a lot - signs that I'm close to the end, apparently! I also have to hold onto my belly when I turn over (which is a lot) and I've been waking up with achy muscles. New: waking up in a panic and not being able to breathe. Not sure whether this is because my lungs are being squished or because I'm having an anxiety attack or something. 

Weddings Rings On or Off: On (I had a dream that I swelled up and couldn't get them off... not sure if that's signs of things to come.) I'm pretty sure that on D-day, if I get the epidural, I'll probably have to at least take them off then due to the fluids they'll be pumping into me. But yea, so far, no swelling. 

Exercise: Walking. Sometimes when I'm walking I can feel Baby pushing on my cervix... eep.

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Lots. She's definitely looking for more room. It hurts sometimes - she's strong! I'm starting to see little feet and hands too! So cute!

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) 

Labor Signs: A little, actually. I think "things" are starting to shift and move around "down there," and that's as detailed as I'll go. But it does hurt. I'm trying not to be a sissy because I know it gets worse in labour. 

What I miss: Being able to put pants on like a normal person. You'll understand what I mean if you've ever been pregnant.

Best Moment of the Week: Getting the crib - finally! It's still in the box but I feel better just having it there now. The mattress is really nice too, actually.. it's covered with this soft, plushy fabric that makes me want to sleep in the crib too! I'm happy that she'll have a nice, soft, safe place to sleep.

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Getting the baby room "babied up" before her arrival. Now that we have the necessities, minus the changing table (not too important currently, as really any surface will do as long as I have the changing pad) and the glider (I'd really like to get this before she comes, as I keep hearing how soothing swinging/rocking is for both mommy and baby while nursing) I would like to make it "her" room now; stuffies, wall decals, mobile, etc. I would like it to be a soothing place for her. 

Pregnant Rambles: 6th Edition - Pregzilla on a Rampage

I seem to do things backwards, even in pregnancy. I thought hormones were more prevalent in the first and second trimesters. Not so for me. For the longest time I was relaxed, chilled out, only occasionally slightly irritable. Even when people got on my nerves I was in control of my inner rage beast, so it was no big deal. I actually think I've been more relaxed and laid back during pregnancy than before I was pregnant.

But lately, oh my word. Lately, I have just been upset for no reason. I have been fed up at - what - the world? Life? And why? I have what I want and things are fine. I can't even explain what it is that is bothering me, but I'm oh-so bothered.

And it's not even that I'm depressed. I'm furious! I'm so angry and indignant and I don't even know what I'm indignant about! I feel like punching everyone in the face (strangers, mostly, not usually people I know) or breaking car windows or joining the smash-the-bus-stop-glass gang.

So I guess I basically want to be Godzilla. Pregzilla.

Since I can't pinpoint any actual reason, real or imaginary, for this rage, I'll just assume it's hormones. I hope it goes away soon before I start to alienate myself from everyone who cares about me. Or before I grow scales and ransack an entire city.

I suspect that a large part of this anger is that I'm so very uncomfortable. I've never been this uncomfortable in my entire life, and as people so cheerfully like to inform me, it will get worse as the weeks go on. I don't know what to do with that information - I'm already so squished and I am fully aware that baby has to nearly double her weight still before she's done baking in there, and where on earth is that extra baby expected to fit?? Between nerves being pinched in my abdomen (what's left of it) and my spine being shoved aside, where is she going to grow? We'll both be so smooshed by the time D-day comes, I don't know who I feel more sorry for.

I'm trying so hard to enjoy my pregnancy, but this last week or so has been pretty trying. I'll hang in there obviously, but wow am I ready to meet this baby and no longer be pregnant!

33 Weeks - I Have New Respect For My Mother

Post-hospital update: everything is fine. Except for my hemoglobin. But, according to my doctors, there's nothing they can do about that. I've been taking iron pills and it's just going to take time to build it up. So in the meantime, I have to be aware of how I'm feeling and take extra care while driving so that I don't, you know... die. No biggie.

They did actually say that if I don't start feeling better soon, they might take me off work. Which I don't want at all because, honestly, what will I do all day? There's only so much nesting a person can do - I don't want to make Baby think we're so much cleaner than we actually are, after all.

Uuuugh this pregnancy. 33 weeks. 33 mostly uneventful weeks, so that's good. I have 4 weeks to go before I'm full term (37 weeks.) I like "4 weeks" better than "7 weeks," which brings me to my due date. I'm feeling pretty stretched right now. Pretty sure I just felt another stretch mark pop up.

How did my Mother do this with TWINS? I feel like an overstuffed turkey, but I can only imagine how it felt to be carrying two huge babies. I am very aware that my clock is running out though. Soon I won't be pregnant anymore, and may never be again. It's an amazing thing, pregnancy. Carrying a little person around in there. And your body just knows what to do to keep her safe and help her grow. It's indescribable.

Anyway, here's what's happening at this point:

Baby's crown-to-rump length is about 17 inches, which seems super long to me. She weighs about 4.5 pounds and gains about 1/2 a pound every week (by my count that will put her at about 6.5 pounds at full term and 8 pounds on my due date! Yowza!) She has moved to the head-down position and may descend at any time in the next six weeks and apparently will start to put pressure on my cervix - I wonder what that will feel like?! This position not only prepares her for birth but allows blood to flow to her developing brain, which is interesting because I did wonder why she prefers her head down. Baby is also in the process of receiving my antibodies. She'd be okay if she were born now but her immune system would be unprepared for life outside the womb so she'd need to be in the NICU for a bit.

How far along?: 33 weeks

Baby is the size of a(n): Durian fruit... whatever that is. 

Total weight gain/loss:  26 lbs (finally going back up - never thought I'd be happy about that but I was a little worried because I was losing weight.)

The Bump: Growing - I now have stretch marks. AND varicose veins. Thanks Baby - they look awesome.

Symptoms/How I'm feeling: Major heartburn. Like, bad. You know that feeling when you have some "sick" in your throat? Yea, feels like that. All the time. Thank goodness for Tums. I'm also pretty lightheaded but I'm hoping that subsides as my iron goes up. The worst is honestly in near constant back pain. I feel like I need to be stretched out.

Food Cravings/Aversions: I don't crave anything anymore. I'm mostly trying to keep a healthy diet that's high in iron, protein, fibre, etc to keep my strength up for D-Day. Eating is more of a science right now than a pleasure. I'm on a schedule that I have to follow or I will just forget.

Sleep: Since I started taking Tums at night, it's been much better. I do have to get up a few times a night to pee and sometimes pop another Tums, but getting back to sleep is no issue. 

Weddings Rings On or Off: On 

Exercise: Walking. I give up on other exercises, except for pelvic floor exercises which are helping my back troubles. Walking is still good and feels great but I am walking much, much slower. 

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.

Gender: Girl!

Movement: Lots. She's definitely looking for more room.

Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants) 

Labor Signs: Not really... some pain that I think is BH contractions. Fairly "low down" and pretty short though, so I'm not sure.

What I miss: Where to begin... I miss everything. 

Best Moment of the Week: Getting a clean bill of health for baby. Very reassuring. She's exactly the size she should be right now and is doing just fine in there.

What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Getting the baby room finished. We already have a lot of stuff, and really we have most of what we need, but I'd like to get the crib in there. I'd like it to be all set for her with every detail in place, though I know that's unrealistic. At least we have diapers!

No bump pic today. Sorry. Perhaps next week.x

Baby Drama - An Impromptu Trip to the Maternity Ward

Let me start off by saying two things:

1) I did not go into labour early, and;
2) Baby and I are both just fine.

I did, however, have a bit of a scare yesterday morning which landed me for several hours in the triage unit at the Foothills Hospital (sadly, I didn't get a preview of the Peter Lougheed Hospital, where I will actually be giving birth in a few weeks.)

Since I am sure that I will be teasing my daughter with this story for the rest of my life, I figured I should jot down the details now before I forget. So, here's what happened:

I was, ironically, on my way to a prenatal appointment where I was hoping to find out how much Baby has grown since my last appointment. I was driving northbound on Deerfoot, one of the busiest roads in the city, and am just grateful that it wasn't too busy considering what was about to happen. I started feeling a little nauseous, which is not uncommon in the mornings when I'm on my way to work, but this time it wouldn't subside with my usual remedies; windows down, music playing, seat warmer on, etc.

I started to worry when I realized what was happening - I was starting to have short, 1 second long blackouts. I tried to shift my position, bounce in my seat, slap my face and self-talk to keep my brain active. But it wasn't working and I knew I needed to get to the side of the road or this would end horribly, because I started to lose my vision and control of my body. Somehow, I made it to the side of the road, and put on my hazards. I remember worrying, stupidly, that I had popped a tire which would hinder me when I felt better and started driving again. I reclined my seat and blasted the AC, hoping that would snap me out of it. I wondered if maybe I just needed a quick cat nap. I glanced at the clock and realized I would miss my appointment, wondered if they would charge me... and then I didn't care.

My vision was obscured completely by bright white light. I've blacked out before and this was different. When I had blacked out before, I remember, very clearly, that it literally went black and I lost control of my body. This was so different - I felt like I was going to throw up, my head was pounding, and I felt like I was dying. I realized I would lose consciousness, that this might be serious and there was no way I'd be fit to drive, and would need an ambulance, so I fished for my phone and guessed where 9-1-1 was on the keypad because my vision was quickly being flooded with the white.

The lady on the phone asked some questions, which I answered, though I don't remember what she asked. It didn't take her long to send an ambulance (telling people you are 32 weeks pregnant gets quick service) and she stayed with me on the phone while I waited, which was basically spent fighting off fainting. I had to put my phone on speaker because it felt too heavy to hold. She was smart too - told me to unlock my doors in case they came and I was already unconscious. Made sure I had my hazards on. I'm grateful that she was doing this, particularly unlocking the doors. If I had lost consciousness, I guess they would have had to break in, and a pricey repair bill was not something I wanted in addition to everything that was happening.

In my haze I saw the ambulance pull up behind me in the side view mirror, and suddenly there was a man tapping on my door (I must have blacked out at that time, though not for long.) Seeing them renewed me and I was a little more aware again for a couple of minutes. I grabbed my stuff and somehow he locked the doors and helped me to the ambulance.

I was very unstable. I knew my feet were moving but I wasn't really in control of them. I was leaning on the paramedic and was vaguely aware that he was shorter than me and likely outweighed him, and felt bad for being so big. These are the stupid things you think of in these moments. Once I was on the gurney (sweet relief) he asked more questions, but I was dipping in and out of consciousness. He gave me some fluid through an IV and the ambulance had, at some point, started moving. I could hear the driver complaining that people weren't moving for her even though she had the lights and sirens going.

I think he did an ECG as well because later in the hospital they removed the stickers. I think it takes a special kind of person to be a paramedic, and he was perfect for the job. Something about him was very soothing, he was gentle and didn't jump to any conclusions.

I loved those paramedics. They stayed with me in the waiting room where I lay on the gurney, and we waited for about 45 minutes before a bed became available. They chatted with me and kept me awake, and when we finally got a bed they wheeled me right in and helped me into bed. I don't know their names. But they were awesome.

I wanted to sleep but couldn't because there were lots of nurses who kept coming in, asking me questions and hooking me up to the machines. They monitored Baby's heartbeat and movement (I was happy to be in the moment with her, listening to her heart and watching her movements on the chart.) They kept pumping me with fluid and ran some tests.

Finally I was left alone, and was able to call Jared, Mom & Dad, work, and my doctor to explain why I missed my appointment. Jared came to the hospital and my Mom worried, Dad wanted to help with whatever he could, and my doctor rescheduled for next week, where I'm sure I'll have to go over my results with her.

I was in the Triage unit and that was actually very good because there were two women in there who were in labour. I could hear them breathing through their contractions, could hear their babies' heartbeats on the monitors, and could subconsciously mentally prepare for my own labour in a few weeks.

I mostly just waited for 6 hours. They frequently tested my blood pressure, which was slowly going back to normal, did another ECG and drew blood. The result? They don't really know.

Could be Baby put pressure on my vena cava vein, cutting off circulation.

Could be my low iron.

Could be the heat.

Could be a combination of all 3.

I've had a couple moments since then in which I felt a similar sensation, so I'm not sure which issue is causing it. But I do know that Baby was perfectly fine and unaware that her mother was in such a state, so that's good.

That's the short version of my drama. All in all it was an interesting experience that I hope I don't have to go through again. There's something very frustrating about going to the maternity ward where all the other women who are surrounding you are having their babies that day, and you aren't even in labour yet. Still I took a lot from the experience and and just extremely grateful that my health plan at work covers ambulance costs!