Now, if you've read this blog you know that I'm pretty much up for whatever pain relief available as soon as possible and, while I know I can't completely avoid pain, I'd like to avoid feeling that really intense pain that women who give birth naturally feel. It seems like the epidural is really the best solution for me because I would probably be one of those women that loses control without some relief. I just find it so interesting that the difference in pain thresholds is so incredibly vast. This terrifies me. I understand why some women want a natural birth with no interventions - they want to remember it, they want their experience to be beautiful and meaningful, and have a clear head afterwards. For me though, I don't really care about a memorable birth. For me it's not about the birth, it's about the baby. That's the part I care about and that's the ONLY part I care about. I don't want my husband traumatized by seeing me in immense pain. I don't want a "beautiful experience." I don't want to remember it. I don't want to feel what transition feels like or even to feel contractions so that I know when to push. I don't deal with pain well at all, and would lose control, forget to breathe, and be basically inconsolable. And probably will mentally block most of it anyway.
All I want is to head over to the hospital when my contractions are about 5-10 minutes apart, get the epidural, sleep and be prepared to hold my baby for the first time. The rest doesn't make a difference to me. I only hope I get that birth - the birth with the least amount of pain and the least amount of stress to me and baby.
I feel that I'm prepared though, if I for some reason can't get the epidural or it doesn't work. It will be awful, but it's only a moment in time in the long run, and I know I could do it if I had to - and obviously, I would have to in that situation. I think that's part of what watching this show (and others) is all about - I'm preparing myself for whatever birth should happen to come my way. As we know, babies come when they want to, and sometimes that's super fast, other times it's super slow. And clearly, sometimes the level of pain is unpredictable.
Onto a less painful topic. Sort of! Finally got the car seat installed. I was annoyed at the car seat manual for mucking me up - it told me to check my car manual to see if my vehicle has UAS child restraints. I should never have done this as it only confused me. I looked in my manual and found two different types of restraints but nothing that considered itself to be a UAS restraint. Ugh. I ruled out the first one immediately as it looks as though it is for a front facing car seat. So okay. But the second one said something about an ISOFIX or something, which oddly I did find in the car seat manual as well but had NO idea how to use it. At this point, I was so stressed, because you have to use the UAS system if your vehicle has it, and as most vehicles after year 2003 or something have it, I figured mine MUST have it. But I couldn't find it and no where did either manual explain how to find it.
After much frustration for both Jared and I, we called it, which was fine as it had started to pour on us (seriously inconvenient rain, I tell you, because once you get that frustrated you just want to figure it the hell out.) I decided to Google it because seriously, it can't be that hard. I watched ONE video and figured it out. Car seat manual, you SUCK! I shooed Jared away and got down to business (I'm not supposed to be doing much besides resting, so he's been on my case about that. But seriously. I was sitting in a chair while doing this. It was SO. EASY.)
The only real issues I have are room and accessibility. I put the seat in the middle back seat for three reasons:
1) I've read that the middle seat is the safest place. I've also seen this in reality - my parents got into a very, very bad accident with my baby sister in the car, in which she was in a car seat in the middle back seat. The accident pushed her right up between my parents and both sides of the back seat were completely totaled due to the nature of the crash. She was fine, thank goodness. I think that paints a pretty clear picture.
2) My vehicle has side air bags. I am fairly sure it would be bad to place her right next to one of those.
3) If I put her in the back passenger seat, the person in the front passenger seat would have to move the seat way up. Since the two people who sit there in most cases have long legs (my 6'4" husband and me) it would really suck.
The downside to this is that I can't really do much for her if she starts to fuss in there. I can put a mirror back there and see her pretty easily, but with the height of the back of the car seat I can't really reach back there without dislocating something. I just hope she's one of those babies who drifts off the moment you start to drive. That would be swell.
Seriously though - having that car seat installed has given me a ridiculous amount of comfort. I could go into labour tomorrow and know that the seat is there, ready to go, and I'm very reassured by that. Isn't that stupid? It makes me want to get the rest of the baby room done too. Lately I've been in major nesting mode, which is hard because I'm supposed to be relaxing. But having a very clean house is suddenly very important to me. I'm afraid I've been driving Jared crazy with stupid orders, particularly having him wipe down every surface after using it. I'm also DYING to steam clean my carpet. This is the weirdest feeling ever, but the cleanliness of my home suddenly provides me with so much comfort. I suppose this is a good thing because when Baby comes I will have no time to clean so I may as well do so now!
How far along?: 35 weeks & 1 day
Baby is the size of a(n): Coconut
Total weight gain/loss: 27 lbs. Finally started gaining a bit!
The Bump: Growing - a lot. And rapidly. This hurts the belly as much as it sounds like it would hurt, by the way. Baby is measuring a bit long by the way - 37 inches!
Symptoms/How I'm feeling: The usual. I have been off work this past week as I've had extra lightheadedness,nausea and headaches, all likely stress related as I've been eating lots of iron rich foods and taking my supplements to increase my hemoglobin count. I am going back to work Monday and seriously cannot wait! I've been terribly bored!
Food Cravings/Aversions: Nothing really strong, which is good because I'm trying to get my iron levels up and trying to eat healthy. I've just eaten 3 cookies however.
Sleep: Better. I'm pretty used to getting up 3 or 4 times a night to pee, but I can fall back to sleep fairly easily. I don't really get more than 6 hours or so, mind you. But it's more than I expected at this stage.
Weddings Rings On or Off: Off as of Tuesday - it was just getting too snug. Feels weird. I have a chain to wear them around my neck but I am very concerned about losing them.
Exercise: Walking. Waddling, really. Stairs and hills are hard work though (very likely due to my low iron. I haven't been walking as much since I've been off work.)
Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes! TBA at birth.
Gender: Girl! I had a dream that she was a boy - I guess we'll just have to wait and see!
Movement: Starting to slow down a bit as she slowly runs out of space. She's in the perfect spot right now, though (head down, facing my back.) Good girl.
Maternity Clothes: 100% (besides yoga pants)
Labor Signs: Cramps, daily. But nothing consistent. I occasionally get massive pressure on my cervix, and it can be quite painful. I think I've given Jared a couple heart attacks already by reacting to those moments, because they make me double over for a few seconds holding my belly, so it's good practice for him when I go into labour!
What I miss: Everything. Done with pregnancy. I just want her here and to be a Mom and to have my body back!
Best Moment of the Week: Getting the car seat in the car. She can come any time now!
What I’m excited about/looking forward to: My baby shower! Mom has invited a few people over for a small get together for me in about 2 weeks, which is really sweet. I can't wait to see people for what might be the last time before I am a Mom! It will also give me a good idea of what last minute items I need to pick up before she arrives.
I'm with you.. Don't worry so much about the birth. Worry more about the baby!
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